Bad things happen to good people. It’s not fair, but it’s true. Other than the fact that it was beautifully written, I think the reason Harold Kushner’s book struck such a chord (and was such a huge international bestseller) is that we can all relate to the title.

We’ve all seen it happen – to ourselves or to others (or all of the above). If life is a journey, then we all at some point pass through the valley of the shadow of death.

I’d like to share with you ten principles that I consider to be the Laws of Adversity. I hope that adversity doesn’t strike you this week, but if it does I hope that someday you’ll be able to look back and say that it was the best thing that every could have happened.

Law #1: Adversity is not optional; bad things do happen to good people. Fortunately, as Harold Kushner writes in his book of that title, “The ability to forgive and the ability to love are the weapons God has given us to live fully, bravely, and meaningfully in this less-than-perfect world.”

Law #2: You might not be able to choose whether or not you pass through the valley of the shadow, but you do choose whether or not to take up permanent residence down there in the darkness.

Law #3: We learn and grow more from our setbacks than we do from our successes. Adversity prepares you for bigger challenges and accomplishments in the future.

Law #4: Surviving adversity is a great way to build self-confidence, and to give you a more positive perspective on future adversity (if we survived that we can survive anything!).

Law #5: Adversity helps prevent hubris, arrogance, and complacency.

Law #6: When things aren’t working, it forces you to look at more creative solutions. There is opportunity hidden in every single adversity if you have the strength and courage to search for it and to pursue it when you’ve found it.

Law #7: What you’ve fought to gain you’ll fight to keep and vice versa – easy come, easy go – but what you had to fight to gain you will fight doubly hard to retain.

Law #8: Without the valleys, you won’t appreciate the mountains.

Law #9: Adversity keeps teaching – it provides great stories for the grandchildren! Your setbacks can, if you’re committed to learning from them and teaching about them, be the source of great learning for others.

Law #10: Adversity is a quiet teacher; you have to probe carefully for its lessons.
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Joe Tye is America’s Values Coach. He is also the author of several books and audio programs on personal, career, and business success, and a popular motivational speaker. Visit www.JoeTye.com

There is a lot that has been written about how to motivate yourself when your motivation is weak.

Many of those motivation techniques are great, but in order to make them even more effective, let’s take a look at 10 things that kill motivation in order to figure out what causes our motivation to die in the first place.

1. No goals

Without goals, you really don’t need motivation. I mean, what in the world would you do with it? Run around in circles? Many people complain about not being motivated to do anything. The majority of the time, it’s because they don’t have any goals that excite them enough to do anything.

2. Failure

This is a big one. When we set out to achieve something and things don’t go as planned, we feel this thing we called failure. It could specifically be feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, or overwhelm. Knowing what to do when this happens to get your motivation back is critical.

3. Negative people

One comment of discouragement is often enough to kill any motivation some people may have. People who constantly make negative comments directed towards you should be avoided if you want to maintain your motivation.

4. Negative news

Bad news sells. If you focus too much on the bad things that are happening in this world, that may suck the motivation right out of you. No matter how good things are, the media will always have something bad to report. Try to focus on what’s good instead.

5. Low energy

Being fit plays a big role in your motivation. When you barely have enough energy to move around and do stuff, your motivation will suffer greatly. A good diet and exercise regimen will help with that.

6. Distractions

Distractions can come from anywhere. These are things that tend to throw our focus off course. If you stay off course for too long, your motivation will deteriorate.

7. Not taking action

When you don’t take action towards your goals, your motivation will die off fast. Often times, people will sets a goal, make all these plans, and then wait for the right time to start. Times like the first of the month, after the holidays, New Years, when summer starts, etc. Once you have a goal, you must take action right away, even if it’s on a Tuesday.

8. Lack of belief in yourself

You could be inspired and motivated by a book you read or a movie you see to go out there and make your dreams a reality, but if you don’t believe you can pull it off, you will eventually stop. You must truly believe you can achieve your goals, otherwise, you’ll soon start doubting yourself and when you do, kiss your motivation good-bye.

9. Boredom

There will be goals that require you to take repetitive actions that may slowly kill off your motivation. If you find running to be extremely uninteresting to you and your goal is to lose weight, that’s a formula for failure. Change up your strategy if necessary and where possible, hire someone else to do certain mundane tasks for you.

10. Lack of support

Often when we feel like no one is behind us, during the tough times, our motivation will fade. Having people who will encourage you is a great motivation booster. They can also help increase your belief in yourself.

By becoming aware of these 10 things that kill motivation, you can better prepare yourself to deal with these ahead of time, or when they occur, in order to keep your motivation alive. Being able to keep your motivation up will eventually lead to achieving your goals.

Japanese grocery stores had a problem. They are much smaller than their US counterparts and therefore don’t have room to waste. Watermelons, big and round, wasted a lot of space. Most people would simply tell the grocery stores that watermelons grow round and there is nothing that can be done about it. That is how I would assume the vast majority of people would respond. But some Japanese farmers took a different approach. If the supermarkets wanted a square watermelon, they asked themselves, “How can we provide one?” It wasn’t long before they invented the square watermelon.

The solution to the problem of round watermelons wasn’t nearly as difficult to solve for those who didn’t assume the problem was impossible to begin with and simply asked how it could be done. It turns out that all you need to do is place them into a square box when they are growing and the watermelon will take on the shape of the box.

This made the grocery stores happy and had the added benefit that it was much easier and cost effective to ship the watermelons. Consumers also loved them because they took less space in their refrigerators which are much smaller than those in the US meaning that the growers could charge a premium price for them.

What does this have do with anything besides square watermelons? There are a few lessons that can you can take away from this story which help you in all parts of your life. Here are a few of them:

Don’t Assume: The major problem was that most people had always seen round watermelons so they automatically assumed that square watermelons were impossible before even thinking about the question. Things that you have been doing a certain way your entire life have taken on the aura of the round watermelon and you likely don’t even take the time to consider if there is another way to do it. Breaking yourself from assuming this way can greatly improve your overall life as you are constantly looking for new and better ways to do things. This was one of the most difficult things for me to do because most of the assumptions I make, I don’t even realize that I’m making them. They seem perfectly logical on the surface, so I have to constantly make an effort to question them.

Be creative: When faced with a problem, be creative in looking for a solution. This often requires thinking outside the box. Most people who viewed this question likely thought they were being asked how they could genetically alter water melons to grow square which would be a much more difficult process to accomplish. By looking at the question from an alternative perspective, however, the solution was quite simple. Being creative and looking at things in different ways in all portions of your live will help you find solutions to many problems where others can’t see them. I am not a creative person, but I’ve found that the more that you look at things from different perspectives, the more creative I have become. It’s a learned art and builds upon itself.

Look for a better way: The square watermelon question was simply seeking a better and more convenient way to do something. The stores had flagged a problem they were having and asked if a solution was possible. It’s impossible to find a better way if you are never asking the question in the first place. I try to ask if there is a better way of doing the things that I do and I constantly write down the things I wish I could do (but currently can’t) since these are usually hints about steps I need to change. Get into the habit of asking yourself, “Is there a better way I could be doing this?” and you will find there often is.

Question habits: The best way to tackle these assumptions is to question your habits. If you can make an effort to question the way you do things on a consistent basis, you will find that you can continually improve the way that you live your life. Forming habits when they have been well thought out is usually a positive thing, but most of us have adopted our habits from various people and places without even thinking about them. I have changed a large number of habits that I have had after taking the time to question them and continue to do so. Some of them I have know idea where they came from while others I can trace to certain people or instances in my life. It’s a never ending process, but by doing this, you can consistently strive toward making all aspects of your life more enjoyable instead of defaulting to what you have now.

Impossibilities often aren’t: If you begin with the notion that something is impossible, then it obviously will be for you. If, on the other hand, you decide to see if something is possible or not, you will find out through trial and error.

Take away the lessons from the square watermelons and apply them to all areas in your life (work, finances, relationships, etc) and you will find that by consistently applying them, you will constantly be improving all aspects of your life.